November 29, 2006
an alternative ten commandments
For all you non-religious folk out there, Ian Green [whose blog I read regularly] kindly sent in this manifesto:
Ten Commandments Manifesto[gapingvoid manifesto submission guidelines are here.][Manifesto archive is here.]I like the Bible – it’s a great piece of literature – but needs some context. So here’s my manifesto based on Exodus 20:1-17
1. God may, or may not exist – you decide. Does it matter if you believe in God? No, but if you do believe, believe in a good one.By and large life is good, people are good. Keep a song in your heart and the truth on your tongue.2. Don’t mess about with symbols – Swastikas, Crucifix, Crescents, it all ends bad. Avoid them
3. If you mess with any of the above – you’re fucked.
4. Best to forget a Supreme Being, chill out, have a beer, scotch or claret, and treat everyone the way you would like to be treated.
5. Get a life and concentrate on being nice to others even if other people are assholes.
6. Stop being stupid – you’re not as smart as you think you are. But remember neither is your boss nor are all the other people who tell you they are smarter than you.
7. Put one day aside a week for your self – your deserve it.
8. Don’t be a slave and don’t make slaves of others.
9. If your mum and dad love you – give it back in spades.
10. Don’t do any bad stuff like murder, adultery, theft, lying, or fucking a donkey.
PS. I am not an atheist myself [or at least if I am, I'm very bad at it], but hey, I can also appreciate other people's perspectives etc.
Posted by hugh macleod at November 29, 2006 1:30 PM | TrackBackOh boy. Where to start with this one. I hate downing people who make an effort, but there's stuff here that just grates with me even though I agree in principle with what he's trying to say:
1. The theological position that "it doesn't matter" is flawed. I refer you to Pascal.
2 & 3. Aymbols are an important part of manifesting a faith. c.f. British Airways banning crucifixes around necks of stewardesses, women wanting to cover their faces, etc. (please don't respond like you have a right to an opinion on either). That said, any faith that doesn't allow you to take some ownership of those symbols, is not a faith but more of a dictatorship.
4. Advocating taking a toxin that inebriates and damages your body to "chill out" doesn't sound too sensible. Don't get me wrong, I used to drink *a lot*, but I would never, ever, EVER encourage anybody to drink to "chill out". If you have a problem with your life, deal with it. Numbing it through alcohol is like dealing with a fire by taking the batteries out of the alarm to stop it making that annoying noise.
5. If anybody learns how to do this, please tell us all.
6. The truly most stupid people on the planet are those who think they know everything. I was astonished to discover PhD Physics types who have an answer for everything, and refuse to believe that the theories might be wrong, despite continuously being wrong over the last few hundred centuries. FFS, when their maths didn't work any more, they invented dark matter: no evidence, they just insisted their maths must be right, and added ten times more mass to the Universe to prop them up. The best scientific journal around right now is the highly cynical and argumentative Fortean Times. Somebody should do something about that.
7. A day of rest is outdated in modern society, unfortunately. I'd love to be able to spend a day lazing around the house with a paper knowing there was no other choice - no TV, no radio, no shops open, no pubs, no sporting events, nothing. However, to most people that is hell. For some people the most relaxing feeling in the World is to ignore themselves and work like mad. They'll die young, but probably happy.
8. We are all slaves to something, and until somebody shows me how they live without money, food, water and sex, I won't believe they're not.
9. Your Mum and Dad always love you, but that doesn't mean they like you. Vice versa is also true.
10. I will guarantee everybody reading this will do one of those at some point in their life. Knowing why you did it and taking measures to ensure you don't do it again is more important than putting yourself in a state of guilt. Unless it's the thing with the donkey, in which case you're a very, very bad person.
Posted by: Paul Robinson at November 29, 2006 3:19 PMWhat about a blogger's manifesto based on your ten rules?
Posted by: milo at November 29, 2006 3:23 PMThe only one I'd change is 4):
"...*don't* treat anyone how you *wouldn't* want to be treated."
It can be annoying when people treat you the way they want to be treated.
Posted by: Angelo at November 29, 2006 4:56 PMthe cartoon: good definition of idolatry (making god in our image)
Posted by: nakedpastor at November 29, 2006 5:53 PMWhat's so wrong with fucking a cute donkey?
Posted by: Dexter at November 29, 2006 6:57 PMI think 10 are too much for idlers like me... even Christ reduces them into 3: what about it?? :)
Posted by: mOe:) at November 30, 2006 9:25 AMYou speak my mind
Posted by: believer at December 1, 2006 12:21 PMPaul, you fell into his trap. If we wanted to hear your manifesto we would've gone to your blog.
Posted by: Johnny C. at December 1, 2006 6:26 PMI'm not a church going person, and I'm rather agnostic if it comes to it. The idea of an "atheist manifesto" looks nice and is definitely funny.
Still, I couldn't ever imagine what life would be without the belief in someone/something all-powerful which could eventually help me get out of the mundane shit. People need to have hope, and that's where belief comes into play. I honestly can't imagine why an atheist would agree to play the "moral" game and follow your 10 commandments(especially the donkey one :P), if it weren't for the slight fear that karma/god/some form of justice would eventually get him punished.
Posted by: Alex at December 5, 2006 10:05 AMAgain?
Another person trying to be funny and it ends up so lame. And if you want to make fun of bible, make sure you really know what it is about. Regret at the end is just pure stupidity.