March 27, 2005

the "beyond lame" award

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The "Beyond Lame" Award of The Week goes to... wait for it...

Hey, guess what, Cool Young Adults? The Captain (of Captain Morgan Rum fame) has started a blog!

Nothing like dropping the name of a fake blog with your Cool Young Adult Friends to increase the ol' batting average with the ladies, ya know?

To find out how this blog came into existence, please refer to the cartoon above.

Yet another post-Cluetrain suicide pact between client and agency. Always a joy to behold.

[UPDATE:] Robert Scoble joins in the Captain Morgan conversation:

No comments? Lame. That tells us you don't think we're important enough to listen to. No RSS? Lame. That tells us you don't want connectors/sneezers/influentials to talk about you and you don't want anyone to have a relationship with you on THEIR TERMS. No real human author? That tells us that you aren't passionate or authoritative about your product and you aren't willing to get over your fear of talking with real customers.
All very true. But advertisers don't come at it from a relationship standpoint; to them it's an issue of entitlement.

"I've spent x-million dollars, Dammit, I am entitled to x-million people's undivided attention."

And when they don't get it, they blame the agency. And the agency willingly risks taking the rap in exchange for access to all that client money.

This is what often makes advertising folk so (a) arrogant and (b) paranoid. It's an unhealthy combo.

Posted by hugh macleod at March 27, 2005 9:30 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I posted this about twenty times on "The Captain's Blog". God... has marketing really sunk this low? Ah yes, it obviously has.

"I don't think anyone appreciates that some idiot marketing director came up with such a horrible idea as "The Captain's Blog". Way to try and capitalize on exactly what everyone else is doing with their lives.

Why don't you find something original to do, marketing guys, or is that beyond the scope of your limited intellects?"

Also, I wanted to add that I love your art - especially this latest post! I'm a long-time fan, first-time commenter. Not like you need more support but hey, thanks for keeping me laughing.

Posted by: Sean at March 27, 2005 2:13 PM

The captain will perform a community service as some kid will get on the site, join the club, get the rum and get his silly ass killed.

The parents will sue for millions and despite all the disclaimers, privacy statements, and lawyerly impedimentia, They will win and make the captain do a 9000 city tour for Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

Besides who want's to use a product that makes you look like a spaz when you are trying to score?

Posted by: the head lemur at March 27, 2005 2:50 PM

This isn't a funny cartoon; this is just plain offensive.

The implication is that homosexual sex is demeaning and something to be laughed at. I like your blog, Hugh, but this is not cool at all.

Posted by: Jonathan Cohen at March 27, 2005 8:34 PM

I agree with Jonathan. This cartoon is the kind of thing one would expect from a ten year old. Not funny.

Posted by: thickslab at March 27, 2005 8:59 PM

uuummm I think Hugh is saying that the ad industry is demeaning and something to be laughed at, not gay people. As someone wo has worked in a related field, I laugh my ass off whenever I see this cartoon.

Posted by: Chris H. at March 28, 2005 3:03 AM

Jonathan: think metaphorical. Hugh is not talking about homosexual relationships between consenting adults here. Quite the contrary.

Also, it's fucking funny.

Posted by: Peter Orosz at March 28, 2005 7:30 AM

For fifteen years, I worked in the ad biz--a snake pit of the biggest assholes on earth. The ad execs are sociopaths and total shits that will say and do anything.

Hugh, the cartoon is right on. It also happens to be my favorite. To anyone that is offended by this cartoon; grow up. It's an elegant comment on the ad biz.

Posted by: Keith at March 28, 2005 1:15 PM

Call me clueless, but I fail to see how it does anything other than suggest that homosexuality is something to be laughed at or derided. Perhaps someone can explain the joke here to me.

Posted by: thickslab at March 28, 2005 9:16 PM

I think the idea is these guys are not homosexuals, but are doing this anyway. It's punch comes from the thought that they're NOT gay. This is about prostituting oneself, not being gay.

Posted by: Jon at March 29, 2005 6:17 AM

Um.

Cartoon is very very funny. Not offensive. Much.


Explanation for thickslab - For me, in order for the joke to work we have to assume that we have two HETEROSEXUAL guys admitting that are prepared to do things that would not be in their preferred style of sexual encounters, just for advancement at their place of work - in fact given the sexual predator types that take up advertising (he said, getting into even deeper sterotypecasting) quite out of character for what you'd expect. They are literally prostituting themselves, and doing things they wouldn't ordinarily do, for the sake of their advertising careers. And, here's another twist, they are admitting as such, blatantly, to each other, in public - thereby saying that this sort of stuff is what goes on - drives, in fact - the advertising industry.

So the cartoon is turning the tables on what is our expectation of their behaviour, and making a comment on what the need for greed can to our sense of what constitutes usual behaviour.

It's called humour. Get yourself a sense of.

And the cartoon is almost as funny when I explain it. Not.

But - the purpose of the post: to hang it on "The Captain's Blog" website actually falls flat, because, like I said, um.

It is not a blog, however you stretch that definition. Doesn't seem to even pretend to be a blog. Just an another pre-cluetrain advertising site, using a PUN as a catch-all. (I sure wanna get pssed and run over some children on the street after viewing it.)

Captain's Log Captain's Blog - geddit?

I know you do. Others may not.

E@L

Posted by: expat@large at March 29, 2005 5:37 PM

Good comment E@L. Further to your explanation, these two men being involved in these activities is purely a power issue, not a sexual issue, regardless of their sexual orientation. Just as rape is a power issue, so is taking it up the ass and sucking cock a sign of submission. When is rape not sex? When are these two guys' activities not sex? Dominance is perceived as giving it, submission as taking it - whether straight or gay. Historically, straight men, and other species of males, have raped other men to confirm their dominance over them. The penis is used as a power tool.

Posted by: anon at March 29, 2005 6:15 PM

Er, a cartoon you have to explain is a failure as a cartoon.

Aren't cartoons supposed to be immediately funny...without a lot of post-spectral, pre-deconstructionist analysis?

I don't see how the cartoon has anything to do with advertising, but I do see that the cartoon is guilty of that which it allegedly is accusing "marketers" of: wanting the target audience to go along with their ill-considered program.

Just my two million cents.

Posted by: steven streight aka vaspers the grate at March 29, 2005 10:20 PM

The idea is unpleasant to veteran bloggers but it is a creative idea nonetheless. It is surely more creative than showing Britney Spears drinking pepsi, or showing a bunch of alcoholics ignoring the hot chick and fighting over beer instead. I DO agree that it's a big no-no for the establishment to encroach into the blogosphere.
Similary, it was a big no-no when commercial interests discovered the internet and started using it.
People with a "private" club, don't like the mainstream coming in. Therefore the opinions are clouded and no one sees that the adervtising idea to use a Blog is quite a creative one after all (and look at all you talking about it - further driving its popularity. I never would have heard about it if you bloggers weren't screaming about it.
You are free publicity and free RSS in a way, driving lots of traffic to the "fake" blog.
Cheers!

Posted by: jeff at March 30, 2005 2:11 AM

"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there's no rationalization for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul, kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, "he's doing a joke... there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations. I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart." Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing." Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags!

Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet!

"Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that." God, I'm just caught in a fucking web! "Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..." How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?"

/obligatory

Posted by: Bill Hicks at April 7, 2005 10:38 PM